New ask Hacker News story: Ask HN: How did you get rid of your performance anxiety?

Ask HN: How did you get rid of your performance anxiety?
2 by deluxefeeling | 0 comments on Hacker News.
I'm a software engineer who has struggled massively with performance and presentation anxiety for the past ten years. This was the result of a presentation gone horribly wrong in my first couple of years in the workplace. I suffered my first ever panic attack mid-speech and had to flee the room. As a consequence, this issue has been in the back of my mind (and potentially the front of my sub-conscious) ever since. I've gradually shifted as far away from management positions as possible, and tried to avoid roles at work that would require me to speak or perform in any nature. I'm terrified of panic arising mid-speech, turning me into a wreck before any presentations. This has begun to spill over into social events, parties, networking meetups, or anything else remotely performative in nature. The worst part about this is that I was actually quite a natural speaker prior to this anxiety arising, and was often complimented on my speaking ability. I've tried all sorts of techniques to fix this. Some work better than others - beta blockers help a lot, as does alcohol. Obviously, I don't want to become overly reliant on booze or anything stronger than propranalol, but sometimes the immediate relief feels necessary. Exposure therapy like Toastmasters seems to provide big short-term gains, but the effects fade fairly quickly, and if I don't do it for a few weeks I'm back where I started. Please share any suggestions! I'd love to hear your own stories.